Translated:
"Yesterday evening a young British man went berserk on Jeju Island, completely destroying over 30 ice-cream shops, claiming he had invented a new type of super ice-cream that he would soon use to take over the world. The new ice-cream supposedly causes extraordinary powers in individuals that consume more than 5 cones of it, both physical and mental powers. The young man, Jim Saunders, was at one point seen lifting three elderly women at the same time and hurling them through the window of Jeju's most successful ice-cream parlor, Ice-Screams. Charges will be made tomorrow."